The Sampler Mandala

The Sampler, 8" x 8" acrylic on canvas

I purchased a new set of metallic paints a few weeks ago and wanted to create a piece using most of the colors. I'd say I unexpectedly like how it turned out. I've been comparing my older pieces to the latest ones, and my craft is really improving.

This brings me to my thoughts I've been having this last week.

I'm scared.

No, terrified.

I have the talent to be a professional artist which is something I've always dreamed of doing, and now that it's on my doorstep, it's scaring me to death to see how much my work is taking off on the different social media platforms and in my sales.

I've wrestled with telling you guys all these things because I've never really felt comfortable sharing anything personal with anyone. But something inside me is compelling me to tell you what I'm going though, because it might encourage or help someone experiencing similar things.

Here are a list of things I'm fearful of.
* Not meeting everyone's expectations
* Being an inattentive mother
* Getting overwhelmed by my work
* Getting stressed over obligations
* Committing to something I don't want to do
* Getting tired of being an artist
* My kids educational needs not being met
* Dropping the ball on my garden (notice the dirty fingers in all my videos)
* Learning new social media platforms

I should be excited so many love my work. And in some ways it is very exciting. I'm so humbled. I guess it just takes time getting used to the idea that tiny invisible me has something to share with the world, and the world is actually paying attention.

In my entire life growing up I have made myself invisible so I blend in and don't stand out. It's how I learned how to survive in this world.

Now I'm here. God is pushing me to share this part of myself, and let's be honest, you don't say no to God and get away with it.

So here is my piece this week. The Sampler telling me it's okay to be scared but I must keep creating anyway.

Thank you all for being so supportive in my artistic journey. You were here first to see the transformation of my work over time. I look forward to sharing more with you all and hopefully keep the journey going.